Until It Breaks
by erja1740
Summary: Four years after Lydia's initiation she thriving in Dauntless, training initiates and working part-time in the tattoo parlor. Her life is good. That is until Eric's attention is set on her. With friends who aren't fond of him, and her conflicted feelings, how far will things go? OC/Eric, slow burn, no war. Rated T for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So if you have read my other story, this started off as a kind of remake but I really I just changed a lot of things and just made a totally new story (besides the characters name and love interest). I'm sorry if you liked the other story but I just wasn't feeling it, haha. Not gonna lie, it's probably going to take me awhile to update this one but quality or quantity? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, and if you have any recommendations on things you would like to see let me know!**

 **I only own Lydia. The rest belongs to Veronica Roth.**

The painted wall is where home is. It's not gray and bleak. It's got life in the rhythm of the brushstrokes and it crawls up and down the wall. The first thing I wanted to do when I became Dauntless was rid myself of the dreary life Abnegation gave me. I picked a wall in my apartment, a fresh canvas, and went to work. That wall describes who I am, after all I spent hours putting my blood and sweat into it. Abnegation was not me. I remember vividly the day where I exchanged a selfless mindset for one that clinged to survival and the nature to protect and defend. It's unheard of for an Abnegation to switch factions, nonetheless, to Dauntless. But then again, I myself am pretty unheard of. I kept quiet in my Abnegation days. The dull, gray environment didn't make it hard. My life was flipped upside down when I entered such an energetic, and brave front where I quickly opened up myself and became the person I am now. The person I've always really been deep down.

I lace up my boots that have been beaten and worn from all the training. I train and instruct the initiates when the time comes. On the off season, as I like to call it, I spend some of my time in the tattoo shop. Today is going to be a busy day. We have a new group of initiates and as much fun as I have training, it's completely tiring at the same time. Training is a joint effort. Four and I take on the transfers and Lauren does the Dauntless born. Occasionally Eric joins Four and I, but the past few years he hasn't been as present as he was with my year.

After tying my last shoe I get up and approach the mirror lying on the back of my door. I give myself a final glance before heading out.

I meet Four at the net. We wait for the first jumper to arrive. This part generally takes awhile. Most people prefer to know where they are jumping, where some just prefer not to jump at all. I was a good mix of both but after 4 jumpers I figured I had to get it over with eventually and that's how I became the 5th jumper.

"What faction do you think it will be first?" Four asks me, curiosity in his voice. We both look towards the sky to see that no one has yet to jump.

"I think Dauntless. Every other year I've said other factions and I've been proved wrong by Dauntless. So, I'm going Dauntless." I answer back, excitedly. It's always fun to see who jumps first.

"I'm going Amity. I mean we have had some crazy outcomes." Four mumbles, as someone falls towards the net. I laugh, his phrase directed at both of us, former Abnegation. The body lands with a scream in the net which sling shots him back up. He laughs as he lands, rubbing the hair out of his face. We pull back the net, Four extending an open hand out to the boy laying in the net. From the clothing he's a Dauntless. I turn to Four sticking my tongue out at him as he pulls the boy from the net. All jokes aside, Four's face turns back to his stone, hard look.

"Name?" He asks, almost irritated. This is the mask that Four wears. When he opens up to you he's a lot of fun. When I first started hanging out with Four and Tris, I was still intimidated by him from initiation. That changed quickly and now we are pretty close friends.

The dauntless boy backs up a bit, obviously intimidated. I cross my arms, adding to the intimidation, but not by much. "Ethan." He stutters out, turning from me to Four. I give Four a grin and he calls it.

"First jumper, Ethan!" His low voice echoes. Ethan smiles at the title and moves over to the side of the room, making way for the others. Once the first person jumps the rest typically follow suit.

"Would you look at that! I guessed right." I marvel, winking at Four. He throws his head back, a grin spreading across his face.

The rest of the initiates eventually jump down, and pile in the corner, nervous chatter filling the once quiet room. One last figure falls from the roof and we don't have to guess who it is, we both already know. The figure dressed in black and covered in distinct facial piercings and multiple tattoos lands into the net. It throws him up and he lands back down. Four doesn't bother to help him. He's already grabbed ahold of the side of net, launching himself out gracefully. He fixes himself before walking over to us, his glare dead set on me.

"Hello Four." He greets, no enthusiastic tone in his voice. "Lydia." He acknowledges. I lift my head up giving him a nod.

"Eric." Four greets back. I can feel the tension between them in the air. You would think that after all this time they would at least learn to get along but that has not happened. I don't know Eric that well, but I know that he's a pretty intimidating person. I turn to look at Four, giving him a shrug. He lets out a sigh and heads over to the group of initiates.

"Alright, listen up!" He yells, silencing them. I approach them also, standing beside Four.

"Before we get started on anything, we will be splitting you up." His voice echoes through building, laced with determination. "Dauntless born over there" He points towards Lauren. "With Lauren. Transfers, you are here." Looks of concern cross the faces of the initiates as the group splits into two.

Lauren smiles at the initiates. They follow her as she leads them out of the headquarters and towards the pit.

"For the rest of initiation you will be training with us. I'm Four, not only do I train you but I also work in the control room." He says. A few laugh at his name but are quickly silenced by the look he gives them. I look over at Eric who stands tall, rubbing his jaw. Four continues, pointing to me. "This is Lydia. You can also find her in the tattoo parlor."

Eric clear his throat, walking over to join us. I feel uncomfortable at the little room he leaves between us, so I shift over a bit. "I'm Eric. I am also one of your leaders. Because the initiation process is very important, I volunteered to oversee training." He says. He doesn't lighten his glare on them and I can see some of them are even more nervous knowing that he is a leader. I smirk, remembering how I felt when I was in the same shoes.

Four takes over and starts them on a tour of the compound where I tail the pack, walking slowly behind.

"So remind me again how you got the job to train?" Eric mumbles quietly, appearing by my side. He doesn't actually want me to remind him, he thinks that I'm not qualified. Eric never liked me when I was in initiation. It's because I was good. Better than he'd like to admit.

I turn to look at him, his hard, defined features detailed with piercings and tattoos. He continues to walk beside me in silence. That's the thing about Eric. He's almost scarier when he's silent.

"Listen Eric. I don't know you and you really don't know me, so save all your critical thinking for the initiates." I grumble. Four leads the initiates into the living quarters and I pretend to be paying attention to what he's saying, hoping Eric doesn't continue to bother me. He can sense when he gets under someone's skin and it practically gives him energy.

"So I'm a critical thinker? Thought you didn't know me." He voice pulls at me, taunting a response and it takes everything in me to ignore it. It's not that hard to piss him off and I don't have a death wish.

After awhile we end up in the dorms. I walk over to stand by Four, turning back to see Eric and a small, evil smirk played on his face. I quickly look away, fixing my eyes on the initiates. Most of them look as if they could make it through initiation, a few look out of place.

"You've got 15 minutes to change out of your clothes and into Dauntless ones. When you are done you will meet in the cafeteria." I announce. Most of the transfers are from Candor or Erudite. A few are from Amity and will take awhile to adjust to the new lifestyle, that is if they make through. When it comes to who will and won't make it through, I try to keep an open mind. As someone who came from Abnegation, not a lot of people thought I would make it and I ended up ranking second.

I scan the room for Eric to see if he has anything to add but he has already slipped out. I shrug to myself and follow Four as we make our way to the cafeteria.

We join our friends at our usual table. I take a seat in between Tris and Zeke, right as Uriah launches a fry at Zeke. It bounces off my shoulder and lands next to my empty plate on the table.

"Nice job, stupid." Zeke says, laughing at his brothers failed attempt to hit him. I pick the fry up and chuck it back Uriah's direction.

"Hey!" He yells. I give him a grin, and pile food on my plate.

"Hey now, wouldn't want to set a bad example for the initiates." Tris jokes. We all laugh as Four takes a seat on the other side of her.

"Speaking of them, any interesting transfers?" Will asks.

"Besides a few Amity, no Abnegation if that's what you're asking." I say. Every year I secretly hope there are Abnegation transfers. There are a few people I remember that never really quite fit in. "Are we not good enough for you?" Tris asks, mock seriousness takes over her face. I bit my lip, grinning. Will starts to panic a bit, afraid that he offended Four, Tris, and I.

"N-no! You guys are great! I was just curious!" He defends. Christina, sitting next to him, hides a smile.

"Will, she was just kidding." Uriah finally admits. Everyone laughs as his face grows red. I pile food onto my fork and continue eating as Christina plants a kiss on Will's cheek. "You know sometimes I can't tell when you are serious!" He says, finally laughing along.

"And you called me stupid, Zeke." Uriah mumbles under his breath. Zeke winks at him and the chatter grows steady at our table.

"Incoming!" Shauna alerts as the initiates file into the room. You can almost smell the fear coming off them as they walk around uncertain of what to do. I watch closely as some take up empty seats and soon there are only a few left standing, looking for open spots. All eyes are on them and for a second I feel bad but that's quickly washed away when a fry is tossed my way.

"Excuse me!" I shout in Uriah's direction where he sheepishly grins and points to Marlene. I roll my eyes at him and give him the middle finger. He feigns being hurt and Marlene reaches across the table to high five me.

Finishing my food I see Eric walk by our table, a blank expression on his face. "He's probably off to ruin initiates lives." Tris comments, noticing that I'm watching him. I nod my head slowly in agreeance, my eyes following him as he walks out of the dining hall and into the pit. What does Eric do in his freetime? I never actually thought he has much of a life besides tormenting people and probably drinking all the time. He has a select few friends but they are all still located at their table, without him.

A hand reaches in front of me, snapping in my face. "Lydia, you there?" Zeke asks. I break my thoughts and return back to the conversation. "Yeah, sorry. Uh, what were you saying?" I push my plate further away from me, signifying that I'm done.

"We are having a party, but not just any party. A Dauntless or Candor party!" Christina shrieks from across the table. I throw my head into my hands, already regretting asking what they were saying. I groan remembering the last time we had one of these parties. Things didn't end so well for me and the last thing I need is a repeat of a little too much alcohol.

"C'mon Lyd! It will be fun, you don't even have to drink." Tris says, putting her hand on my shoulder. I grumble, lifting my head up. "Fine." I say. Everyone around me cheers, and we all get up from the table to leave the dining hall.

"Lyd, I promise you will have a good time." Christina urges, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Yeah, yeah." I say, a smile appearing on my face. We walk through the pit to get to the living quarters where we all go our separate ways. "I'll let you know later when the party is!" She yells as I stop at my door and she keeps going to reach her's. I give her a thumbs up and head inside.

I go straight to my bed, crawling in. Tomorrow is the first day of initiation and I'm going to need all the sleep I can get.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the positive feedback! Here is another chapter!**

* * *

My alarm goes off at 5 am and I'm up and ready to go by 5:30. It takes everything in me not to crawl back into bed but I don't really have a choice on if I want to be productive or not today. I swing by the dining hall, grabbing a muffin, then walk to the training room.

"You look ready to go." Four jokes as I walk in, taking a bite of my muffin. I roll my eyes at him, taking a seat on the bench to finish my muffin. "You out of anyone should know that I am not a morning person." I say, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. He nods in agreeance and tosses me a bat.. "Let's get going." A look of excitement crosses his face and I feel it taking over mine.

We go from the training room to the transfer dorms where it is silent, the only sound is the quiet murmurs of sleep. We stand there for a minute, scanning the area and watching the clock. When it hits 6 am, Four turns to me. I give him a nod and initiation finally begins. We both go to the nearest metal bunk a take a couple swings. It's not long until the once silent room is filled with grumbles and complaints of it being too early.

"You've have until 6:30 to meet us in the training room. I suggest being on time. We don't tolerate being late." I snicker, following Four out. "Welcome to Dauntless where we try and kill you before initiation even starts and we wake you up at ungodly hours." I hear someone say on my way out. I smile to myself at that comment because I felt the exact same way.

Back in the training room I notice that we are joined by Eric. His hair is slicked back as usual but a tired look takes over his face. The first day is always rough, except for Four. I think he chooses to get up at this time everyday anyway. "How are you also so awake?" I question, envious of it.

"I actually got no sleep last night." He responds, rubbing his jaw. He all of the sudden looks nervous and I can tell something's on his mind. "Ok, spill." I urge. He laughs and then crosses his arms across his chest.

"Well, I actually bought a ring the other day and I'm goi-" He starts but I stop him mid sentence. "Are you serious!" I yell, and Eric snaps his head in this direction, glaring at me. My face grows red and I turn back to face Four. "That's amazing!" I say, lowering my voice. He smiles and is about to say something but the first few initiates walk in.

"We'll talk later." I whisper, giving him a sideways smile. More and more initiates pile in until they are all here. "Today is the first day of training for physical stage. Partner up, we will begin teaching you all the basic defense moves." I order. They all scramble around to find someone. Four and I center ourselves on the mat in front of them.

"I'll go easy on you." He teases in a quiet voice.

"Ha." I laugh. He tries to catch me off guard throwing a punch towards my stomach but I instantly block it. I retaliate by throwing a punch towards his face but he's quick to grab my fist, throwing me back. A concentrated look has fallen across Four's face as he calculates my next move. This continues on for a little bit longer, until we stop, both breathless.

"First you position your arms out in front of you like this." I say breathlessly, showing them the correct stance. They all mimic it, waiting for the next direction. Eventually we have them doing all the correct moves and practicing with each other. Eric saunters from the corner to stand by me while Four is off fixing stances.

"I want them fighting by tomorrow." He says, his low voice tensing my nerves. I turn to him wide eyed, disbelief played all over my face. "You are kidding, right?" I hesitate. There is no way they are ready to fight tomorrow. We just started defense and it's only the first day of initiation.

"Does it look like it." And the look on his face says it all. He's not kidding. "You do realize that it's only the first day of initiation. The FIRST day." I speak up. I get that he wants them to learn but it's still way too soon for fighting. He rolls his eyes, putting his arms across his chest, locking in his position.

"Yes, I do. How are they going to learn to fight if we don't actually practice it. My decision still stands, they are fighting tomorrow." He doesn't stray from his original idea, and his eyes glare into me. I turn to look for Four, who has noticed our conversation, and I nod for him to come over. I hate to bring him into this but he has a little more authority than I do.

"What's going on?" He says, anger already flared up in his eyes. I sigh, shaking my head. If Eric wasn't here during training things would be so much easier. "He wants to start fighting tomorrow." I complain to him. Normally I'd just listen to Eric, but they are not ready.

"No." There is no question to Four's voice, he's made his decision and he's not changing it.

"They will be fighting eventually." Eric grumbles, tired of this conversation

"I'm well aware of that, but one day is nowhere near enough time. We haven't even taught them everything they need to know yet." Four argues, still intent on waiting for the fighting to begin. I nod, agreeing with him.

"You are just overseeing anyway. Four and I do the training." I speak up. He's not going to like that but it's true. We know what we are doing and we don't need Eric to make decisions for us. Just as I thought, he doesn't like that. He steps closer to me, leaning in.

"Watch it," He growls, pulling his head back. I can smell him and he surprisingly doesn't smell like alcohol. "Fine. Don't start tomorrow but start soon." He decides, backing away and turning to leave the training room.

"Some of them are bigger and could easily crush others. Starting tomorrow would have been a death match." I say after Eric has left, motioning over to the initiates. "God, I hate him." Four says and with that we walk back over to the initiates.

* * *

Training has stopped for the day, and it's almost time for the party. There isn't anything I want to do more than climb into bed and sleep, and I would but Christina has a key to my apartment and she wouldn't hesitate to use it. Instead, I throw on the appropriate clothes and drag myself to Christina's.

"Well, well. Look who finally showed!" Marlene, greets pushing me in through the door. Christina marches out of the bathroom, straightener in hand ready to attack. "About damn time! I was ready to pull out my key!" She says, swinging the straightener around. I throw my hands up in mock defense. I knew I was late but I didn't realize I was that late.

"Now, get in here." She says motioning for me to come over. "We need to do something with that hair." She gives me a mischievous grin and I regret not staying in bed. Christina is all about hair and makeup. I apply the minimal amount of makeup and my hair tends to stay in it's slightly wavy, natural state.

"Why do we have to do my hair! I have no one to impress." I groan, sluggishly walking over towards her.

"Doesn't matter." She argues, latching onto my arm. There's no going back now. So here I sit, prisoner to Christina. It takes her about ten minutes before she's yelling out that she's done. I turn and look into the mirror.

"I look the same." I say, a little disappointed. Christina spins me around to face her, her smile fading when she's my expression. "You don't like it? I just enhanced your natural waves. I know you're not really into big and fancy things so I kept it simple." She explains. I play around with my hair and shrug. "Alright, cool." As I get up from the chair there is a knock at the door. Shauna runs to get it and is met with Zeke.

"Oh, it's you. I thought it was food." The disappointment clear in her voice. Zeke's face twists from a smile to a frown.

"Hello to you too!" He says, tipping his head up as he walks past her. He drops onto the couch, where Shauna soon joins him.

It's not long before everyone else starts showing up and we gather on the floor for the annual game of Candor or Dauntless. We all sit in a circle snacks and drinks in the middle. I never feel excluded from the group but it's a little awkward at times because most of my friends are dating each other. Uriah and Marlene claim to both be single but everyone, including myself, is pretty sure there is something going on there. There's always Lynn who also isn't dating anyone but sometimes it can get a little lonely.

Uriah is quick to start the game and to no one's surprise, he targets Marlene first.

"Marlene." He says with a mischievous look in his eyes. "Candor… or dauntless?" He asks.

"Dauntless." She says confidently. A laugh comes from Uriah and Zeke shakes his head, already certain about what he is about to ask. From the redness and look on Marlene's face, she knows too.

"Give me a kiss." He says, puckering his lips. Marlene looks embarrassed and for a second I feel like she might chicken out on this one.

"Oh come on. We all know you both are dating!" Lynn shouts and Uriah glares at Zeke.

"I didn't tell them! You guys suck at hiding things." Zeke says, throwing his hands up. Uriah's glare softens and everyone starts chanting their names. Marlene gets up, crossing the circle and plants one on Uriah. "I'm no professional but I'd say that they both have had practice by the looks of that one!" I joke. Everyone laughs, including Uriah and Marlene.

Marlene goes back and selects the next victim. "Alright, Tris. What will it be?" She questions. Tris smirks at her, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "All in. I'm going Dauntless."

"Run around the pit yelling, 'I'm a pansycake' five times and then come back." She explains. Marlene has always been good at dares that practically give you a work out. Tris nods and gets up, opening the door and running out into the hall towards the pit. We get up to follow, entering just as she starts yelling.

"I'm a pansycake!" She yells, running in circles. It's later in the night so there aren't as many people present but it's still funny. Once she's done we all run back to Christina's apartment.

Back on the floor Tris scans to see who hasn't gone yet. "Zeke." She calls. His eyes go wide, as he recalls what happened last time he took a dauntless from Tris.

"Candor or Dauntless? Choose wisely, my friend." She says, hinting at what's about to come. Zeke is not the one to back down from a dare so naturally, he chooses Dauntless.

"Let me make you a drink with anything I want to put in it and you have to drink it." She snickers.

"Nope!" He says, pulling off his t-shirt. The rules of the game are if you opt out, you have to remove a piece of clothing.

"Oh come on Zeke!" Four encourages. Zeke shakes his head, holding his balled up shirt.

"Last time she made me a drink I threw up and I never felt the same! I don't feel like throwing up right now!" He reasons. Uriah laughs, and Zeke launches his shirt at him.

"Fine." Tris laughs.

"Christina, I select you." Zeke declares.

"Zeke, I select Candor." She says mimicking him.

"Oh, those old faction roots still buried in you, huh?" He jokes. Christina responds to that by flipping him off. "Ask me something before I show off my Dauntless skills." She dares. Christina is little but she is powerful, and Zeke knows that. He sits there thinking about what to ask.

"Hmm, when was the first time you and Will, you know, did the deed?" He says. My eyes widen and Will looks a little mortified but Christina takes it like a champ, not hesitating to answer. "4th week we officially started dating." She responds. Glances are thrown both Christina and Will's way. Christina crosses her arms across her chest as if ready for another.

I remember my first time. It wasn't bad but the person it was with is one of a few regrettable decisions I've made in life. His name was Alec and we lasted a couple of months, but we really shouldn't have even lasted that long. He was an asshole and I should've listened to everyone when they told me not to date him, but I was in desperate need of a relationship, which is ridiculous now that I think about it. This was about a year after initiation and I'm over it now. Since then I've had a couple more relationships but none that I was 100% happy in.

My thoughts are interrupted when Christina calls my name. "Candor or Dauntless." If I pick Candor there really isn't anything they can ask me that they don't already know. I'm a pretty open person, so I pick Dauntless.

"Dauntless." I say. I must have caught her off guard by saying Dauntless instead of Candor because it takes her awhile to think of something.

"I have a good one for you!" She says, winking. I sigh, hoping it's not too bad.

"Run over to Eric's and ask if you can have a cup of sugar for some cookies you're making." My eyes grow wide, and I'm contemplating removing an article of clothing. "He hates me!" I shout.

"He hates everyone!" Tris replies. I grumble and get up. "Here goes nothing." I say, opening the door and walking out. I walk towards Eric's, ready to embarrass myself. The only reason I know where he lives is because he lives right next to Four.

I arrive at his door and stand there for a minute. Do I knock? I decide to just get it over with and knock on his door. It's silent for a moment but soon I hear shuffling on the other side of the door and the door swings open. His eyes a puffy with sleep and his hair, usually slicked back and greased, is out of place, falling in his face. He's changed out of his usual black vest and into a black t-shirt and black sweatpants. It takes a minute for him to register who I am.

"Four's door is the next one over." He grumbles, about to shut the door. I haven't even said anything and he already is in a bad mood. Great start.

"Yeah, I know." I quietly mumble. The courage I had built up a little bit ago has fled, and now I'm at loss for what to say. He opens the door wider, and leans against the door frame.

"So?" He asks, slightly irritated. I tuck my falling hair behind my ear, trying to find the courage to talk.

"Um, can I borrow a cup of sugar?" I say. His expression turns to confused and I try to hold back a little laugh at it.

"And you couldn't have asked one of your neighbors. I'm on a whole other floor then you." He states, and I feel like he knows this is all joke.

"None of them answered the door." I lie. He looks down sighing.

"Maybe because it's 2 in the goddamn morning." He growls, lifting his head back up. I try to give him a small smile but it falls and turns into me biting my lip from how nervous I am.

He stares at me for a second then spins around and disappears into his apartment. I think he is actually getting some so I stand and wait. I get a small glimpse of his apartment. I always thought he'd be a slob and wasn't organized, but from what I can see he is organized and everything seems to have a place and order. His furniture is all grey with black accents and it looks put together. I also thought that there would be alcohol all over the place but from what I see there isn't any in sight.

I hear a few things being moved around inside and he comes back, blocking my view of his apartment, with a container of sugar. He practically tosses it at me. "Get lost." He growls. I nod as he slams his door and I run back to Christina's.

Once I get back I open the door and everyone gives me confused expressions, wondering if Eric actually gave me sugar.

"Cookies, anyone?" I say, pulling the sugar out from behind my back. Cheers fill the room and some are in disbelief that Eric actually gave me some. I sit back down, high fiving Four and Tris on the way, and toss the sugar into the middle of the circle.

* * *

The next morning is rough. Going to bed late and getting up early is taking it's toll. I manage to crawl out of bed and head to the training room. I am greeted by Four who is setting up the stations for the initiates and Eric sits impatiently on the bench.

"About damn time." Eric grumbles from where he is sitting. I'm late today but not by much. I roll my eyes, setting my stuff down.

"Give it a rest, I'm 20 minutes late. The initiates don't even get here for a whole other 30. And you aren't the trainer so I don't see why it's any of your concern." I say, rubbing my eyes where sleep still rests. I probably just pissed him off but I'm too tired to fix my mistake.

"I'm here to oversee training. If I feel that one of the trainers isn't capable of following a simple set of rules then I have to do something. So yes, it is my concern." He says, getting up to approach me.

I shake my head, this is ridiculous. "I'm on time 99% of the time. It's not that big of a deal that I was late one day." I respond. He keeps walking towards me, anger is bubbling within him and I can tell. What did I get myself into. Out of the corner of my eye I see that Four has turned his attention over here. Eric doesn't stop walking until we are face to face, too close for comfort.

"Maybe you wouldn't be so late if you didn't pull all that Candor or Dauntless shit so late in the night." He says in a low whisper. His throaty voice cuts like a knife and I take a step back. "I know about your damn tradition. You're lucky I was as nice as I was last night." He finishes. I wouldn't have called his attitude last nice, but it definitely wasn't his worst mood.

Four, who has came over to break up this argument, speaks up in my defense. "Eric, relax. It was just a game." He says, stopping beside me.

"Shut it, Four." He hisses, walking back over to the bench. "This happens again and there will be consequences." He grumbles. I roll my eyes, turning away from him to face Four.

"Yes sir." I mock, saluting Eric. That gets a smirk out of Four and I help him finish setting up.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know, it's been awhile since I last updated. Summer is coming! That means that updates will be more frequent! Let me know what you think about this chapter and I will try and get the next chapter up sooner than this update.**

* * *

Training has ended for the day and we are almost ready to get them fighting which I'm sure thrills Eric. I have kept my distance since the whole Candor or Dauntless deal and he's made it pretty clear that he'd like it to stay that way.

"He'll get over it." Four assures as we walk towards dining hall. I shrug, stepping behind him as a group of people walk by. I wait for them to clear until I join Four's side again.

"I honestly don't care, I don't need Eric's respect. I've done fine without it so far." I say, giving him a slanted smile. Once we come to an intersection of hallways I grab at the sleeve of his black shirt and pull him towards a different hall. It takes a lot of strength because Four isn't light but I manage to pull him over.

"So!?" I say in a loud whisper. A confused expression is all over Four's face. I think I caught him off guard but he soon realizes what I'm asking.

"The ring." He states and I eagerly nod my head. "I don't know when, but soon." He explains. I vaguely knew Four back in Abnegation. While we didn't talk it didn't take a whole lot to notice that he was unhappy and something was wrong. After I came to Dauntless and realized who he was, I was glad to see that he had finally found not only his place but someone who makes him happy. Now he's practically the closest thing I have to a sibling.

"Four, that is great!" I encourage. He smiles, a small smile, but it grows, reaching his eyes. They light up at the realization that this is happening and he has finally reached the good in his life.

"Whenever you decide to do it, and need some help, I'm always here." I mention, giving him a playful punch in the shoulder.

"I know."He says, leading the way to the dining hall again.

* * *

It's later in the night and Tris and Christina have begged me to go out with them. I've politely declined them several times already but they won't stop calling so I just decided to stop answering. I would but I'm so tired and I don't need a reason to be late tomorrow.

I change out of my clothes from training that I've been in all day and throw on some comfy pants and a black tank top. I'm just crawling into bed when there is a knock at my door. I walk to answer it, expecting to see Christina and Tris. I'm surprised when I pull back the door to see one person, and it's not Tris or Christina.

"Eric. To what do I owe the pleasure?" I joke, surprised to see him standing here. He looks annoyed, as usual, but he looks like he is in a hurry. I hide behind the door after glancing in the mirror behind it. My hair's a mess, still in a braid from earier with pieces falling out. I took all my makeup off and I look extremely tired, not to mention I'm not wearing a bra. He glances me up and down then shakes his head and starts to speak.

"I just came by because we need to start discussing ranks. I need to know what time works best for you." He grumbles. Couldn't we have like discussed this over the phone? I don't bother asking him this because he's already on edge and I don't need to give him that final push.

"Alright, well anytime after training I guess." He gives me a cold stare before nodding and heading off on his way.

I peak my head out of the door and watch as he disappears down the hall. I'm about to shut my door when Four comes running down the hall towards me.

"We've got a problem." He yells before running past. I follow his lead and begin a jog as we run towards the pit.

"Where are we going?" I ask breathlessly. I'm almost positive that this problem has to do with the initiates. There is almost always a problem every year. Four doesn't need to answer because we come to a stop in front of the chasm.

"What the hell." I say, out of breath trying to see past a group of people. I break through and lying on the ground is an initiate who was just pulled out of the chasm. I hear a gasp escape my mouth and Four pushes me away from the body. He takes me with him as he talks to Max.

"You know that kid?" Max asks, almost annoyed that time was taken out of his day for this.

"Jared." I mumble. I recognize him from his prominent scar on the side of his face I noticed when I first saw him. The circle made of me, Four, and Max breaks and Eric makes his way to join.

"Did he jump or was he pushed?" He asks.

"We are still trying to work that out." Max grumbles, turning away from us. Four follows leaving me with Eric.

"We don't need to account for him in the ranks." He says, shrugging. My mouth drops a little and I'm shocked by what he just said. "Do you not have a heart?" I snap, turning to look at Jared.

"Just stating the facts." He grunts. I turn back around but he's already gone so I look to find Four. He sees me and nods towards the hallway to leave. I nod back and make my way through the crowds of people. I can feel throw up rising in my throat and I'm quick to leave the area. I have seen dead bodies before but each time I see one I still get a queasy, uneasy feeling. Four approaches me, a look of angry on his face.

"You alright? He asks, eyes scanning the area. I nod, taking deep breathes. Once the uneasy feeling passes I wipe the sweat that was building, off of my face.

"I'm fine. What are you looking for?" He is frantically looking around, although no one seems to be in the hallway besides us.

"Jared didn't jump." Four admits. My eyes widen and I know that we are dealing with someone who will kill to win. Jared was doing good. Better than other initiates like apparently.

"What are we going to do?" I ask. I can feel my heart beating but I know I need to put a strong face for the initiates because the last thing we need is another scare during initiation.

"I'll order a meeting before training tomorrow and we can go from there. I think I might have an idea of who did it." He says, and I'm feeling a little relieved that we might have an answer to our problems. "Don't worry about it, okay?" I nod and we both say goodbye and head our separate ways.

* * *

It's the middle of the night and I was asleep. I was asleep until I heard a loud sound. I don't get scared when I hear sounds in my apartment because I know how to defend myself so there is no use in being scared. But this wasn't just a random bump in the night. This was a sound that I know so well. It was a gun. I quickly pull the covers back, hopping out of my bed. I pull the drawer of my nightstand open and rummage through it until my hand hits the cool metal. I withdraw my gun and stick it in the back of my pants and slam the drawer shut.

If you have a job that qualifies, you were given a gun. I never pull it out and I never thought I would have to. The gunshot wasn't too far away so I slowly open the door and peek my head out. The hallway is quiet. Way too quiet. I look down and see Christina sticking her head out as well as a few others. She puts her finger over her lips, signaling to be quiet. I nod and scan each end of the hall.

A few more gunshots go off, sounding closer. Everyone looks alarmed and I grab ahold of the gun but I don't take it out. I hear loud footsteps running and from the opposite end of the gunshots, Eric comes running. He's got a gun in one hand and he glances over each one of us.

He stops running and doesn't even take a second to breath. "An initiate got ahold of a gun and is shooting. We need to clear this hall and head that way." He says, directing our attention the way he came. We all nod and everyone is quick to follow orders. I watch as people run, including Christina.

"What are you waiting for!" Eric snaps. I turn to look at him, rage is all over his face and I know he's pissed about this whole thing.

"Who was it?" I stupidly ask. This only makes him more angry and he wipes sweat off his forehead.

"Would you just follow damn orders!" He yells and I nod, slamming my door and run in the direction everyone else did. I'm almost to the corner when I hear Eric yell from behind me.

I spin around and there stands Micheal, an initiate from Candor. Eric shoves me behind him, holding his gun up, ready to shoot. I'm about to yell something when gunshots go off.

"Fuck!" I hear Eric grunt as his body hits mine and Michael's falls to the floor. Panic is racing through me as blood covers my shirt. Was I shot? I don't feel any pain. Eric is grunting in pain and I realize he was the one who got shot. I spin him around and lean him against the wall. He's heavy but he helps a little bit.

"Shit." He says wearily, holding his hand to his shoulder. I look over at Michael to see that Eric didn't miss what he was aiming for. He rarely does. His head is bloodied and I know he's dead. I turn my attention back towards Eric.

"I'm fine." He mumbles out, a pained expression taking over his face.

"You were just shot! You are not fine!" I shriek.. My panic is starting to come out so I try to avoid it by distracting myself.

He looks me over and sees the blood on my shirt. "Did you get hit?" He asks. A slight anger flares up in his eye but is gone in a second. I nod my head no. "It's your blood." I respond. He nods his head but groans in pain.

"Ok, ok, ok. You need to take your shirt off." I say as calm as possible. "Can you lift your arm?" He doesn't answer and instead he grabs the top of his shirt with his teeth and uses his other hand to slowly rip the shirt apart. I'm in too much shock to focus on how built his body is and I lift his hard, calloused hand from his shoulder. I unwrap his shirt from around him and ball it up, applying to the wound. "Hold that." I command. He doesn't bother to argue and holds the already soaking shirt to his shoulder.

"We need to get you to the infirmary." I stand and hold out a hand for him. He doesn't grab it and instead pushes his back against the wall and slowly comes to a standing position. "I got it from here." He grunts, breathing heavily.

I stare at him in disbelief. We are in the middle of the hallway where someone is lying dead and he just got shot and he thinks he can handle it all by himself. He won't accept any help from me.

"Don't be stubborn. I can help you." I offer again, holding out my hand. He glances at it but instead turns away and starts a slow walk away.

"Eric!" I call out.

"I have it from here!" He snaps. I don't' bother to answer and instead turn to the body lying in the middle of hall, blood pooling around him. "What about the body?" I yell to him. He waves his hand in the air, continuing his walk. "Call Max." Is all he says and then he rounds the corner.

I let out a deep breath and slide down the wall to a sitting position. I lean my head back and take a second to digest what just happened.

* * *

It's been a couple of days. The body is gone and the blood has been cleaned from the ground in the hall. I haven't heard from Eric so I don't know how he's doing. I've distracted myself from what just happened by keeping myself busy. I've scrubbed every counter and surface in my apartment at least twice. Everything just feels dirty, no matter how much I clean them. Not to mention I've showered at least 3 times a day these past few days.

Initiation is taking a short break as we figure out how to handle to what just happened. Plus we all need a break. Four and I got in some trouble because according to Max, it's our fault that an initiate got ahold of a gun.

I'm scrubbing the kitchen counter which has been scrubbed already when there's a knock at the door. I stop scrubbing and run to answer it.

"Christina. Why am I not surprised to you." I mutter, and leave the door open as I walk back inside. She follows and I hear the door click closed. Christina has been over everyday and while I do love her, I just want some alone time.

"Hello to you too." She grumbles, taking a seat on the couch. Her face curls in a frown. "You were cleaning that exact same spot yesterday when I was over."

"It got dirty." I state simply, shrugging, She doesn't buy it and rolls her eyes at me.

"We need to get you out of this place. You've been dwelling in here for 5 days." She complains, picking a piece of lint off of her pants. "It will do you good." It would probably do me good to get out. A piece of me left when all the previous shit happened and I think I need to get it back. My apartment is safe though. I feel comfortable here.

"Everyone misses you." She encourages. I also do feel safe around my friends and I miss them too. I haven't been the most sociable lately. I reluctantly nod my head. "Ok."

Christina jumps up from the couch excited. "Great! I'll come over at 7:00. As for right now, quit cleaning." She says, walking over towards the door. I put the sponge down and back away from the counter, my hands up in the air.

"Good." She says, motioning that she's watching me. I give her a small smile and she returns it and then is out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I first would like to start out by apologizing. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a month! Between work and my social life I have been pretty busy and I've had a few unexpected family emergencies. My life has kind of been whirlwind of really good and really bad lately but I want to get back to writing this story. I hope you guys like this chapter and hopefully it won't be another month before I update! Also, I recently started reading Harry Potter (because I am lame and had not seen a movie or read any of the books until a couple weeks ago) and I love it! I wish I had gotten into it sooner. I'm only on the 4th book but I'm so glad I finally decided to read them! Question (If you have read/seen Harry Potter): Which house would you be in? I would be in Ravenclaw. I've taken some online quizzes and asked my friends and I am almost always put in Ravenclaw. Let me know!**

* * *

I find myself standing in front of Christina's door, ready to knock but it is pulled open leaving my fist in mid air. "Lyd!" Tris yells as she pulls me into a hug. Christina runs out of her room and wraps her arms around the both of us. "Group hug!" She says excitedly giving us a squeeze.

I groan, pulling myself free from Chris's tight grip. "Tris were you watching me from the peephole?" I ask, followed by a laugh.

"Possibly." She admits.

"So what are we doing today? Lyd, it's all up to you. We can do whatever except I will not let you sit inside at home for another day." Christina says, angrily shaking her finger at me.

I take a seat on Christina's couch, clutching one of the pillows resting on it. "I kind of want to change my look." I murmur silently. As I speak Christina and Tris both lean closer, taking seats beside me. "I could have died. There are so many things I've wanted to do but feared I wouldn't like it. I could have died with all the regret of not taking risks. I want to take some risks and now seems like the time." I finish. The room stays quiet for a few seconds. I fumble with the pillow in my hands as Chris and Tris give each others looks, unsure of what to say.

Christina's places her hand on my shoulder. "Well then let's go."

Our first stop is at the tattoo parlor. I have a few tattoos already but I've been wanting another one lately.

"Hey! Coming back to work so soon?" Tori jokes. I can't help but give her a smile as she gives me a hug. "Long time no see." She says, waving at Tris and Christina who wave back.

"I'm actually here to add on to the slow but growing collection." I say, nodding towards my arm where a few tattoos sit. She smiles, patting the chair next to her. I take a seat as she goes back to the supply room. Tori draws all my tattoos and we already had future ones drawn out.

"Which one?" She yells from the room.

"The geometric one!" I call back. A few minutes later she is out of the room and we are ready to go. She places the machine just below my shoulder. She holds it there for a couple minutes as Christina and Tris wander around looking at all the designs. Tori eventually peels back the machine to reveal a black geometric triangle pattern running up the top half of my arm.

"Guys, what do you think?" I call to Tris and Christina. They both come running over and I am overcome with ooh's and ah's.

"I love it, it's so you!" Tris complements, giving me the thumbs up. Christina nods in agreeance.

"Who's next?" Tori pipes up.

"If I found something I really liked I would say me but so far I haven't." Christina says followed by a frown.

"I have more in the back, follow me." Tori informs Chris. They both make their way to the back and I take this time to talk to Tris. "Has Four by chance told you anything about Jared's death?" I ask. Concern is etched in Tris face as she shakes her head no. "I know something is up with that whole thing, he just won't talk about it with me." Tris says, disappointment lying in her voice.

Four came by to see me the other day. I knew he knew something about the initiates death but he wouldn't tell me. He probably didn't think I could handle more bad news. I'm about to say something back when Christina skips out of the room followed by Tori. She takes a seat in the chair and Tori fires up the machine again. "I'm getting a dove." Chris says excitedly, flipping over so her shoulder is showing. Tori places the machine down and we wait for a couple of minutes.

After Christina's tattoo, which she got because she feels that she is a peaceful person, I decided to chop my hair to make it shoulder length, pierce another hole in my ear and pierce my nose, and finish the day by buying some new clothes.

I take a seat in the dining hall, shoving all my bags under the table. The dining hall is practically empty besides a couple of initiates and of course us. I still don't have much of an appetite so I stick with a salad.

"Lyd, I have to admit, you look pretty badass with your hair, tattoo, and nose piercing." Says Christina, taking a bite of her burger. I wink at her, shuffling my salad around my plate. Tris and Christina are too hungry to talk so I sit and listen to the chatter coming from the initiates. I don't around because I don't think they realize that it's me, one of their trainers. I've been hiding in my apartment for a couple days. I could use something to entertain me.

"I heard he has to be in the infirmary for a couple more days." A girl with a high pitched voice says. I recognize her voice as Laura, a candor transfer. Who are they talking about? I hear a few gasps and someone clears their throat. "Maybe this will teach him that he isn't as strong as he thinks he is." This time it's a guy, his voice is harsh and cracks as he speaks. I quickly recognize him as Colin. "Well if you were shot you wouldn't act all strong either" Laura accuses. Some of the others laugh but Colin just grunts. "All I'm saying is that being shot didn't warm his cold heart. If anything, it froze it even more." He says, getting up from the table. It's not hard to guess who they are talking about. I wait until they leave to speak with Chris and Tris.

"Eric is still in the infirmary?" I speak up. They exchange looks at eachother then look back to me, nodding. I rise from the table, checking the time. "I have to go see him." I insist. It's nine and visiting hours are over but I'll find a way to get in.

"That's not a good idea. Four went to visit him and he made it pretty clear he didn't want any visitors." Tris argues. I ignore her and make my way out of the dining hall and towards the infirmary. "Visiting hours are over!" Chris yells after me but I'm already on my way.

* * *

A nurse who I remember as Mary stands by the desk holding a tablet, her finger slowly moving up and down the screen. I've had Mary as a nurse for the few times I've been in here and I'm hoping she will let me in.

"Lydia, hello dear. Please don't tell me you've had another knife hit you?" She questions, setting the tablet down and gives me a morbid look. During my initiation one of the other initiates let go of their knife a little too soon as I was standing behind them collecting my knives. Mary was not thrilled about my injury, it was only in my leg, but Four and Eric definitely got an earful from her about safety. I now wear the scar on my leg where the knife was lodged.

"Not today!" I assure, patting my leg. I always hate being in the infirmary. It's dark and quiet and the few times it is loud it's filled with the moans of pain from hurt people. Tonight it's quiet and all I hear is the soft snoring of some patients.

"So what can I help you with tonight?" She asks, eyeing me to see if I am at all injured. I shift in my spot on the floor, looking at all the rooms with doors closed.

"I need to see Eric." I say in a hushed voice. She takes a seat at the desk, letting out a sigh. "Sorry honey but visiting hours are over." She confirms what Christina already warned me about. I think of something on the spot so I can get in.

"It's about initiation. Urgent." I add. She squints at me as if she is trying to figure out if I'm lying. I hold my ground, a faint smile playing on my face. She rubs her eyes and I can tell she is tired. "Fine. Make it quick please." She says shooing me off. I give her a grateful smile and she points 3 doors down on the right side of the hall.

I approach the door, noticing that the blinds are closed. Typical Eric. Not wanting anyone to see him in pain. The doors won't lock from the inside and I'm sure Eric was unhappy about that. I twist the handle until I hear a click and push it open peering in.

Eric is lying on the bed shirtless, a hospital gown tossed on the floor. There's a blanket draped over the bottom half of him and a gauze wrapped around his shoulder. His eyes are closed and he appears to be sleeping. His hair is falling out of place, not in his usual slicked back style. Color has been drained out of his face and he looks tired, vulnerable almost.

I move towards the chair in the corner and take a seat. His eyes flutter open and he looks around the room. He stops when he sees me and squints. "How the hell did you get in here?" His voice is groggy and deep and I can't tell if he is angry or not.

"The-the nurse let me in." I say motioning towards the door. He grunts and pulls himself into a sitting position on the bed. "Funny. Considering I asked her not to let anyone in, especially you." He grumbles. I'm used to all of his cold remarks but I don't understand why out of everyone, it's me he doesn't want to see the most.

"Well she did and I thought I at least owed you a visit because you did take a bullet for me." I comment shrugging at him.

"It wasn't intentional." He replies harshly. I'll pretend that didn't hurt. I get up out of the chair and wander towards the end of the bed where I come to a stop. "Either way, you were the one who got shot. Eric, why do you always do this? I try and do something nice for you and you won't accept it?" I accuse, my stare not faltering. He snorts, throwing his head to the side.

"Have you ever thought that maybe I don't want your help? If it weren't for you I wouldn't be in this bed!" His voice is raising and I know if he gets any louder Mary will kick me out. I motion for him to quiet down.

"I know. I was stupid and didn't follow orders when I was told. I did help you after you got shot." I mention. He rolls his eyes signifying that he doesn't care.

"I could've handled myself. It's not the first time I've been shot. You've stopped by, said what you needed to say, now get going. I need to sleep." He hisses, shifting down in the bed.

"You've been shot before this?" I blurt. As soon as the words leave my mouth I know he regrets telling me this. He sighs, and rubs his eyes. "It was a long time ago and I am not talking about it now." He clarifies, reaching over to press a button on the wall. He presses it and Mary comes in.

"I want her out." Is all he says and Mary is guiding me out of the room, closing the door behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry! I know I said I would try to post more frequently but apparently I didn't try hard enough. I just had so many distractions and now I'm starting another school year but I will try and try harder! Right now I am currently sitting at a booth in a sushi cafe (eating sushi) and finishing this chapter. I wrote half of this on my phone, which is pretty unusual for me, so if things don't make sense or I spelled things (more than I usually do) wrong, that's probably why. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

It's been weeks. Eric hasn't talked to me and we haven't even seen each other in weeks. I know he's doing a lot better, at least from what Four has told me, not that either of us really care. Well, maybe I do a little but I'll never admit that to him. I've just been painfully awaiting his arrival back at training, bracing myself for the angry and cold stares he will most likely throw my way.

Things have had a bright side though. I witnessed my best friend propose to my other bestfriend. Tris did say yes, and I have never seen Four so happy. The initiates are probably grateful because in his daze, Four has made training a little easier.

"Alright, let's divide into two teams. Lydia and I are captains and we will choose." Four snaps me back to reality and I step forward on the train to explain game.

"This is capture the flag," I start. "Each team will be given a flag to hide and it's the other team's job to find that flag. You want to be the team to find it first. But this isn't just a friendly game." I say holding up a gun loaded with neurostim darts. "Neurostim darts create the pain of a gunshot. Hurts like a bitch." I warn.

A short, lanky kid flinches a bit as his eyes widen in horror. "We shoot each other with those?" He whimpers out, looking frightened.

"You bet." I confirm, giving him a smirk. "Let's get started!"

I look over to Four. "Ladies first." He jokes, gesturing to the crowd of initiates.

* * *

It's late when we get back from the game. My team won, but it was a close game. Some of the initiates are probably traumatized from the neurostim darts, but when we gave them training off the next day they were thrilled.

I take the shortest way back to my apartment. Sleepiness is taking over my body and I want more than anything to lay in bed just like everyone else who is probably sleeping in Dauntless. I rub the spot on my arm that faintly aches from being shot in the game.

I hear voices coming from the end of the hallway, hushed whispers. Probably coming back from a party that was happening in the pit. Before I can think anything, a hand is yanking at my hair and I'm suddenly shoved against the wall.

In front of me is a large, bearded man. His mouth is curved into a wicked grin. "This is her." He spits, grinning to two other guys who are quickly surrounding us.

"Y-you don't know me." I nervously yelp. His smile only widens and he grabs my jaw. "Might want to keep your mouth shut. You yell for help or scream and there will be hell." He says, raising a knife up to my neck. An alarm goes off in my head and I want to yell more than anything but the knife is keeping me quiet. That and his hand. I squirm under his grasp as he lowers the knife, looking me up and down.

"I see why he's distracted." The man grunts and I'm suddenly self conscious of my body. He runs his hand down my side and I want to cry. His touch feels wrong and I try and shake out of his grip but it only tightens. I see another dark figure approaching from down the hall and I my heart break a little, assuming it's another one of his men.

"Harley, looks like we got ourself a visitor." One of the guys says and Harley whips around, releasing me for a second.

"Well, well. If it isn't the man of the hour himself." As Eric steps into the light. Man of the hour? Is this Eric's doing? Who was Harley guy talking about earlier? Who am I distracting? All these questions race through my head but the look on Eric's face is one of pure anger and hate. He glances at me, and there something unspoken in his eye.

"Harley, back away from her." He snaps. He is tense and I'm grateful he showed up. I try to quickly move further away from Harley but he snatches my arm. I see Eric's fists clench as I yelp from his grasp. "This isn't a game." Eric says, taking a step forward. "I won't hold back." I see his muscles in his arm flex as he crosses his arms across his chest and if it were me, I wouldn't want to mess with him.

This seems to touch something in Harley as he grumbles but releases me. I quickly move closer to Eric but still keep a distance between us. In this moment, I'm so thankful for Eric. It seems as if Harley and his guys are afraid of Eric.

"You've gone soft for a girl?" Harley hisses. His face is drawn into an evil grin, trying to get a jab at Eric.

Eric turns to me, looking me up and down. "She means nothing." He grunts, avoiding eye contact. I don't know what I expected, but it still hurts a little.

I shift uncomfortably in my spot, ready to leave this hall and be far away from Harley.

"You're a rogue one these days. The guys miss you." Harley taunts. Eric is tense as he shakes his head. "It's better this way." He mumbles before turning around to walk away. He grabs my arm as he walks by pulling me towards that exit. I have no choice but to follow as he pulls me around the corner and opens an apartment door which I soon recognize as his.

He drags me in and slams the door shut. I get a quick glance at the space, still surprised about how neat and organized it is.

"What are you doing?" I stammer, crossing my arms over my chest. He rubs his forehead and turns to face me. "Something I should have done a long time ago."

Before I can think about what he means he's face to face with me and his lips are pressed against mine. It's a rough kiss filled with passion as his hands fly up to my head and become tangled in my hair. I try to pull away but he only pulls me closer and I no longer want to leave his grip.

His touch is electrifying against my skin and I grant him entrance as his touch pushes into my mouth. Our lips lock together like they weren't meant to fit into each other's. I finally fully register what's happening and break away. My breathing is heavy as I push pieces of my hair out of my face.

"What was that?" I ask, stunned. He rubs his fingers against his jaw, staring at me. This look is different from all the others he's given me. It isn't cold but instead has a trace of desire. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't have to. We both know very well what just happened.

"I thought I meant nothing to you." I speak up, crossing my arms over my chest. He walks over to the cabinet and pulls out two bottles of beer. "I didn't mean it. That guys bad news and the last thing I need is him hurting you." This makes me feel slightly better.

"Bad news?"

"He's part of a group you don't want to be around. I used to hang out with them but times have changed." He says, cracking open the bottles and handing the one to me. I nod as he ends the subject.

"Just promise to stay away from him." Eric pleads. I've never seen the caring side of Eric before and I like it a lot more than his cold and angry side.

"I promise... I guess." I say, then take a sip of the beer. "Are you going to address the elephant in the room?"

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" He asks as he leans against his counter.

"You're kidding?" I say, shocked. He approaches me, resting his hand on my face. He rubs his thumb across my lip then pulls away.

"I'm not good at this romance shit. One minute I want to kiss you and the next I want nothing to do with you. You do that to me you know? You annoy the hell out of me and aggravate me but you draw me back in all at the same time." His eyes flare when he talks about how I annoying I am but stop when he finishes the sentence.

I knew I got under his skin but I didn't realize what else I do to him. "This is crazy." I say shaking my head. I rub my eyes not believing what I'm hearing. "So what does this mean?" I ask. Does he want to make something out of this? I'm not totally against it. It's better to have him love me rather than hate me. And that kiss, there was definitely something there.

"I can't do that. I'm not a nice person, I'm not that one for you." He turns away from me, facing the sink.

"Eric, you just told me how you long you've wanted to kiss me and now you're saying that you're not the one for me?" I question, setting my beer down. I move closer to him but still keeping a distance.

"I know what I said." He grunts. All the caring aspects are leaving and I'm disappointed. Why does he doubt himself so much?

"We can try it. It's worth a shot." I'm now a few feet away from him, daring to reach my hand out to his shoulder.

His bottle slams into the sink and glass shards fly up into the air. "Damnit Lydia! I'm not a fucking nice guy! That kiss was a mistake." He yells and I flinch away. He holds up his bloodied hand from the broken bottle. "You see this? This should be your first sign."

Instead of turning me away I move to examine his hand but he pulls it away and grunts. "Just go."

"Eric." I whisper, but he's already made his decision.

He glares at me so I slowly turn and leave. Why does this always happen to us? The moment we start to get close, something happens that pulls back apart. Once outside his door I cross the hall and slide down into a sitting position. Maybe I can try and talk to him in a little bit? Let him cool down a bit?

* * *

I'm slumped against the wall, asleep, when a voice wakes me up. "Lydia?" It's Eric and all the anger from before has been drained out. I groggily lift my head and notice that he is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. He must have been sleeping because this is not what he usually wears.

"It's 3 in the morning. What are you doing out here?" He seems concerned, but I'm too shocked by the fact that I've been here 2 hours. I rub my eyes, a yawn overcoming me. "How did you know I was out here?" I question, brushing my hair out of my face,

"I got a call from the control room, they mentioned something about someone sitting outside in the hall. I didn't realize it would be you.." I can barely keep my eyes open as I shrug in response. He crouches in front of me, as if he's examining me. "You look tired." He says softly, so unlike him.

I chuckle and nod my head in agreeance, He holds out his hand and before I can object he's already pulling me up. I can feel his warm hand on my back as he lifts me up and guides us into his apartment, his arm wrapped around me. We walk a little and before I know it, I'm laying under black sheets and I see his figure leaving the room.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: New chapter! Woo! Thank you for the positive reviews! They mean a lot!

* * *

I wake up in a sea of black sheets, an aroma of cologne hitting my nostrils. I remember where I am and take a moment to take in my surroundings. I'm in Eric's room, laying in his bed. If any of my friends knew I was here they would be furious. Most of them hate Eric.

I will admit, that was probably the best nights sleep I've had in weeks. I don't really know what I expected from him. I always thought that like most guys I know, his apartment would be messy and I didn't think he would put much thought into decor and color schemes but boy was I wrong.

The first word that comes to mind is sleek. His room is painted white with gray furniture and black accents. Across from the bed are two large floor-to-ceiling windows that illuminate the place, especially in the morning. In the space between them he has a gray dresser, a black bottle of cologne and black books resting on top.

In the corner he has a grey chair, with a jacket hanging over it, as if it's part of the decor. On the right side of the bed are two pull out doors which I'm assuming is the closet. On the left is another door, cracked open, which leads to the bathroom.

The best part is the bed. The black comforter is one of the softest things I have ever felt and the bed is large enough to fit 4 people comfortably. Next to the bed is a nightstand with a lamp and a clock. There's not much in his room but it all goes together nicely.

I hear shifting around in the kitchen and decide that I should probably get up. I pull the covers back and hop out of the bed. I make a quick dash for the bathroom to take a look at myself. My hair cascades along my shoulders in it's usual brown, messy tangle and my eyes look a bit puffy. I sigh but accept how I look, quietly slipping out of the bathroom and room, and into the kitchen.

"Sleeping beauty, no longer sleeping." Eric smirks as he places and eggs on two plates, each accompanied by a piece of toast. I smile as he sets them at the dining table, where two glasses of orange juice already sit. He motions me over and I take a seat across from him.

His hair falls loosely on his head, instead of his usual slicked back style.

He doesn't hesitate as he cuts his eggs and forks them in his mouth. I follow suit, noticing the pillow and blanket on the couch, the pillow still having an indent in it. "Did you sleep on the couch last night?" I ask, taking a sip of orange juice. He rests his fork down on his plate, taking the napkin and wiping off his mouth. "Couldn't exactly sleep in my bed." He answers, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Why didn't you make me sleep on the couch?" I run my hand through my hair and shrug. "Do you really think that low of me?" He jokes, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth. This is different. I'm in Eric's space and he's not being defensive or secretive. I nod my head no, my finger tracing the rim of the orange juice glass. "So the nose ring." He comments, motioning to my nose. My hand instinctively hoovers to it.

"Christina told me it looked good." I mumble, pushing my plate forward, signaling I'm full. He shakes his head, grinning. "What is so funny?" I ask, returning the same grin. He shrugs, placing his hands on the table. "For once I actually agree with Christina." This warms me. It's not until he says it that I realize that this is the kind of attention I crave from Eric. Well, this and a few other non-verbal things. I bow my head down biting my lip, trying to hide the enormous smile that has erupted on my face.

He reaches across the table, pulling my lip free from the grasp of my teeth with his thumb. "You've got to give that lip a break." He grumbles, sitting back down staring at me. His eyes are mesmerizing when he doesn't look like he's out to kill. "Habit." I mumble in response, not breaking contact with him. There's an indescribable urge in his eyes and his body is tense. He quickly nods then pushes back from the table, getting up.

"There's a meeting in a little over an hour at the pit. You're expected to be there." He informs me. I get up also, realizing that I do have things I need to do today. "That doesn't give me much time to get back to my apartment and get ready." I say nervously, carrying over my dishes to the counter. "What's the meeting about?"

"Minor changes to some things. No big deal really. Follow me." He says and I don't bother asking why as I follow him over to a closet located by the spare bathroom. He pulls out a bin and inside is clothes, female clothes. I give him a questioning look. "What, are these keepsakes from all your one night stands?" I ask, testing limits. He gives me a sarcastic smile that fades back to his usual stern face. "Relax, they're my sisters clothes that she left." Eric has a sister? I'm not buying it and he can tell.

"Yes, I do have a sister. She's younger than me and works in the amity fields to keep guard of the fences. That's why you've never seen her or probably have ever heard of her. She rarely comes back to the compound." He's still holding out the clothes to me. "Look, I was just offering for you to get ready here so you wouldn't be late." He grunts, shoving the clothes towards me. I grab them before they drop and sigh. He actually has a sister?

He crosses the living room while peeling off his shirt. "You can use that bathroom." He says before heading into his room. I gladly accept the offer and take the clothes and lock myself in the bathroom. I hold his sister's clothes up, thankful because they are the same size as me. I turn the shower on and shimmy out of my clothes from the day before.

* * *

When I finally get done in the bathroom, Eric is already out of the shower, his normal black clothes on and every hair slicked back in place. "The clothes look nice." He says, bending down to lace his boots.

"Pure luck." I say, heading towards the door but stopping in front of it. "I'm going to head out." I throw my thumb back towards the door. He approaches me, his hand resting on the small of my back. He stares at me, pulling me towards him.

I like this. I like these little intimate moments where Eric is more than just a leader. My mind flashes to Tris, Four, and Christina. They all hate Eric and part of me feels like I'm betraying them. But if this doesn't mean anything to Eric, as I really doing any wrong?

"Eric?"

"Mhm." He says, his calloused thumb rubbing circles on my hand. I sigh, already feeling regret about what I'm about to say.

"If there is anything here, with us, you have to let me know. These moments are nice, _really_ nice, but I never really know what you are thinking."

His eyes stare intently at my lips. "I'm thinking that I'd like to kiss those lips, and do a few others things to you." He says in a low voice, shivers racing down my body. I smirk, releasing myself from him.

"Maybe if you're lucky." I tease, swinging open the door.

* * *

I make it back to my apartment to see I have a visitor.

"Sleeping with the leader? Thought I knew you better." Christina snaps, hopping off the kitchen stool. She bumps my shoulder as she passes me on her way to the door.

"Christina!" I call, swinging around to face her. "What the hell? How'd you know where I was?" I ask, stunned that she knew where I was and at the fact she would accuse me of sleeping with Eric.

"Did you forget that Four practically runs the control room?" Shit. I actually did. I sigh and rub my forehead. "We didn't sleep together, Chris." I inform her.

"Oh, so you and Eric just had a heart to heart all night? That's not what Eric fucking does Lyd!" Christina yells, throwing her hands up into the air.

Why does Christina feel she has authority over my life? We didn't even sleep together! "He slept on his couch! Even if we had slept together that would have been none of your business!" I retort, crossing my arms over my chest.

"He's such an ass, do you even remember when I told you he hung me over the edge of chasm during my initiation?" She's playing the guilt card. She knows it's my one weakness but I'm not going to let it get to me. "Nothing happened Christina. If you'd give me time to explain, you would know that." I calmly say, staring her directly at her.

"Whatever." She grunts, opening the door and exiting. I sigh, rubbing my temples. Didn't realize I needed my friends permission to make my own decisions. I pull my phone out of my pocket and make an impulse call.

"You, me, and the bar. 7 pm." I say.

"See you then." Eric says, and I can practically hear his grin


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm back with another chapter :)

The once empty bar stool becomes filled as Eric's familiar scent fills my nostrils.

"What are we drinking tonight?" The bartender asks.

"Bourbon." He replies, turning to face me. "Didn't realize we were calling each other now." He jokes as he grabs a fist full of peanuts from the bowl on the bar. His eyes stare into mine but they aren't filled with a sort of callousness as usual. He's got a grin and I feel it spread to mine. I anxiously bite my lip and look down towards my glass of wine.

"God, you are such a tease." Eric says, taking a sip of his bourbon. I release my lip and rest my hand on my head. "I don't get it." I confess. Eric narrows his eyes, setting down his glass. "Don't get what." He says in a low, husky voice that sends shivers down my body.

"What is that makes you so attracted to me?" I ask, watching as he pulls his vest from around him and reveals a short sleeved black shirt. He's now wearing a crooked grin as he eyes me up and down. "I could show you." He grunts, and I shake my head. "That's the problem." I admit. He looks confused but I quickly clear it up. "Christina thinks I slept with you."

He slowly nods his head and I take a sip of my wine. It doesn't take long before his cocky grin comes back, yet again. "Why should it matter to her." He says as more of a statement then a question as he reaches out to run his fingers over the hemline of my shirt, resting on my collarbone. My skin begins to tingle from the touch. "It shouldn't." I murmur, lost in his touch. He draws his hand away as if to tease me and wraps it back around his drink.

He clears his throat, observing me over his glass as he holds it up. "Did you know how you felt about me when I first jumped off that roof." I ask. That question has been nagging at me forever. I'm curious to know, because I sure as hell did not know my feelings for him at the time. I honestly didn't know until a little bit ago.

He draws his lips into a grin, but it resolves back into his stone cold look. "No. I knew you were going to be a pain in the ass though." I stick my tongue out at him and take another sip of my wine as my face grows red. "What?" He asks, setting down his glass.

"That god damn cocky grin." I mutter. As if he knows what I mean by that he slides out of his seat and pulls me up with him. "Let's get out of here." I nod in agreement as he places money on the counter and we walk out of the bar.

"I could've have paid for myself." I mutter as he continues to drag me out, gently squeezing my hand. "It was a nice gesture but if you keep talking there won't be anymore." He clarifies. I take his word and remain quiet the rest of the way. It isn't until we start walking that I realize I'm a little tipsy. I continue to let Eric take the lead and I wonder where we are going.

"Here we are." He finally says. I sort out the blurriness to realize that we are in the apartment sector.

"Why are we here?" I ask, slightly disappointed. I was hoping he was going to take me to one of his secret hang out spots but instead we are standing in front of my door.

"You have to train tomorrow and I have things to do tonight." He states. Not the answer I wanted to hear but he doesn't seem to notice. His lips are pressed in a hard line, as he debates something in his head. I hope he changes his mind and stays but I don't think he will. Defeated, I unlock my door and leave it open as an invitation inside, hoping he gets the hint. He leans against the door frame watching as I peel off my jacket and set it on the hook on the wall.

"You know you don't have to go." I say, crossing my arms over my chest, giving him a playful smile. He shakes his head sighing as he turns around and slowly walks away. "See you tomorrow." He sighs, as he turns and walks away.

* * *

I haven't heard from Christina all night but I don't really care. She's being selfish and I did nothing wrong. I get ready and make my way to the training room to get started. I know I will probably see Eric there but I don't know if he will talk to me. He still seems weird about being public together, I mean we aren't even a "thing", but we did spend the majority of the night together at the bar last night.

The first person I see is Four and he's got a scowl on his face. I grunt as I tie my hair into a ponytail and watch as Four approaches.

"I don't want to hear it." I state, crossing my arms across my chest. His eyebrows scrunch together as he mocks my stance.

"Hear what?" He asks. I roll my eyes and watch as initiates begin to file in.

"Cut the bullshit, Four. I'm sure Christina blabbed to Tris about how I supposedly fucked Eric because I was with him all night." I don't hesitate and Four nods his head, signaling that he's already heard it. "Christina was over last night and she wasn't happy." He says. He doesn't seem angry, which is reassuring. I could really use someone if Christina isn't talking to me.

"Is it true?" Those three words, I knew he would ask those.

I sigh, putting a hand to my forehead. "No. Four, you know I love you but even if it was true it's not really any of your business. It's not true though. Nothing happened."

I can tell he believes me, but it still makes me disappointed that he had to ask. I give him a weak smile and turn around to greet the initiates.

"Today we begin fear landscapes. We will start with single fears and then move on from there. A fear landscape is a fear landscape is a simulation that will put you to the test when it comes to facing your fears."

Some initiates look around nervously but some look ready to go, confident. I know that when I was in their position, I was excited and nervous all at the same time.

"All right, head into that door over there." Four points. The initiates frantically follow his directions and gather in through the open door.

On the other side of the training room I hear a door click and turn, connecting eyes with Eric. He flashes me a small grin but it fades as he continues to look around, spotting Four. I used to find Eric's cold and hard face, like the one he is sporting now, scary and intimidating but now it's growing on me. I can't read him though, he's good at hiding his emotions.

He slowly follows Four and I as we enter the room. We walk past the initiates and go into another, slightly smaller, room. Once the door closes, Four walks towards the stand to get the serums ready.

"I see you are joining us today, Eric." Four states, lining up serums. You can tell Four is uncomfortable and Eric loves every second of it. They are always taunting each other and now is not an exception. Eric saunters over to me, his eyes never leaving Four. "I figured I monitor some of the landscapes." Eric grunts, crossing his arms over his chest. Eric and Four are similar in a few, and I mean _very_ few, ways. They both are built and carry the "hard to the core", scary-intimidating face.

"Whatever you see best." Four grumbles sarcastically. Eric smirks but then turns his attention towards me. He eyes me up and down and moves a little closer to me. "You look good today, Lydia." He says plainly, but enough to get Four to scowl, his eyebrows knitting together. It's probably the most meaningful thing Four has ever heard Eric say to a girl. I smile at him as a thank you but once I see Four again I know that the compliment he gave is not helping my case and Four is probably starting to wonder if anything is actually going on between us.

* * *

We end the first day on fear landscapes with only 5 cryers. Usually the majority of them cry but today was different. I think most of them tried to hold it together because Eric was intently watching them. As soon as we open the door the initiates pool out and make straight for the dorms, where Four is greeted by Tris. They quickly exchange a kiss, as Eric slowly walks out of the room and back towards headquarters.

Tris comes up to me next and smiles as I say hello.

"Listen, don't stress about Christina. You know how she is. I believe you and I know you may not think so, but Four does too. He just doesn't like Eric and the thought of him with you doesn't help." She smiles and I nod, closing my eyes. Will it ever end?

Christina has called me multiple times and I've ignored it each time. I'll talk to her eventually but not right now. Yeah, it was kind of cruel for Eric to hang her over a ledge but he wasn't going to let her fall. At least I hope not. Right now I just want to spend time with Eric. I never thought I would say that but here I am. I am a little frustrated that he went after Four a little bit but it's not that big of a deal, I enjoyed the compliment.

I don't know where he went after training but I guess I'm going to find him.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N; I'm happy with how this is turning out! Sorry the updates are further apart. I actually wrote most of this months ago but I haven't had time to post.

* * *

I look around for awhile but I can't find him. He's probably in a meeting with Max or something. I decide to go back to my apartment. I could clean some things anyway. I walk down the hall towards my door, when I see a piece of paper sticking out from under it. It's probably a note from Christina because I'm ignoring her calls. I pick it up and unlock my door. I drop my bag and the note on the counter and pour myself a glass of water. I unfold the note and stare at it for a second. It's not from Christina, I don't know who it's from.

Scribbled on the piece of paper is: _You have no idea what's coming, be prepared._

Is this some joke? I don't think much of it. It could just be someone pranking me. I crumple it up and toss it in the trash. I head to the bathroom to get cleaner from under the sink. I walk in and gasp when I look at the mirror. Pieces of glass sit on the counter and in the sink and staring back at me is the shattered reflection of myself. What the hell? I feel the hairs on the back of my neck starting to rise. I don't think this is a joke anymore, my friends wouldn't go this far. I sprint out of the bathroom and check the other rooms. Everything else seems ok except for my room where black marks cover the walls. I try to remain calm but I'm afraid that whoever got in, is still inside. I quickly run back to the kitchen and grab my phone. The first number I call is Four.

'Hey Lyd." He answers.

"Four, listen. Could you check and see who was outside my door earlier? Please?" I say into the phone growing impatient at the thought of something being in my apartment. How did they even get in?

"Are you alright? You sound shaky." He asks as I hear typing in the background.

""No-no. It's fine, just please check." I ask and I grab my bag and lock myself in the other bathroom. It's silent for a second and I use the wall to slide down to the floor, waiting for Four to tell me who was there.

"Well, it looks like someone was at your door around 2. I can't tell you who it is because their hat is blocking their face and they avoided direct contact with the camera. What's going on?" I knew Four would ask. I don't want him to come over and investigate so I decide to lie.

"Nothing. I'm fine, just wondering." I mean I'm being pretty suspicious but I hope he takes the hint that I don't want help, at least from him.

"Are you su-" He starts but I don't let him finish. "Gotta go. Thanks!" I manage to get out then hang up. Quickly after calling Four, I call Eric.

He answers faster than Four.

"Hello?" He says into the phone. Hearing his voice makes me feel a little better.

"Hey. Sorry to bother you but would you mind coming over to my apartment. There's shattered glass and stuff on the wall and I'm just not sure what to do." I can feel myself losing towards the end of the sentence so I quickly spit it out.

I hear some noises in the background but his voice soon flows out. "I'll be right there."

* * *

It's only a few minutes until I hear the front door click open. I hear some footsteps and then a knock on the bathroom door. "It's me." He says. I get up and open the door to see his face. He seems concerned but not too much. "Did you see the marks on the wall?" I ask as I push past him out of my bathroom and into my bedroom. He nods and takes a second look. "You said something about shattered glass?" He turns to me. It looks like he's trying to hold himself together because he looks angry now. I quickly nod and lead him towards the other bathroom.

"You didn't have to come." I state, feeling defensive that he is angry. He grunts but then replies.

"It's not that." He says and now I'm confused. I ignore it and stop in front of the bathroom, pointing to the mirror. He walks in and touches the glass, then he gives the whole room a look, and closes the door. I hear him say something aggressively under his breath and then he opens to door looking furious.

"You're staying with me tonight." He states like there is no question to it.

"What?" I ask as he walks back to my room. I go back into the bathroom and look behind the door. Carved into the wall, probably from a piece of glass, is the letter H and three dots connected by a line. Is that why Eric is mad? I run after him back into my room. He's found a bag and is grabbing things from my closet and throwing them in. I feel slightly embarrassed when I see him grab a fistful of my underwear but it doesn't seem to phase him. Apparently, he has drawn the line. I go into the connecting bathroom and grab all the things I need out of it. I don't bother questioning Eric because he is mad and crossing him is not something I feel like doing right now.

I walk back out of the bathroom with my things and toss them onto the bed. "Do you need anything else?" He asks, lifting up the bag and throws it over his shoulder. I nod and grab a couple bras from my dresser drawer, my face heating up as he eyes them. "Alright, I'm good."

* * *

He doesn't talk much until we get to his place. I stay in the living room while he drops off my stuff in his room. "Are you ok? Were you home when this happened?" He asks, his forehead squishes into a scowl. I nod no as he stands in front of me.

"No, I just got back. I thought the note was a joke." I shrug, as his eyes widen. "There was a note?" He asks. I nod and fiddle with the fabric of my shirt. "It's in my garbage. It just said something like 'you have no idea what's coming'. I just kind of put it off." I admit, nervously biting my lip. I see his fists clench as he paces and I know he's mad.

"What aren't you telling me." I ask simply. I know he is hiding something. He turns to face me, releasing a sigh.

"It's Harley." He states. Harley like the Harley who basically already came after me? "That mark behind your bathroom door, that's his mark. He knew I'd see it. That son of a bitch."

"You can't stay in your apartment. At least until it's safe, you'll stay here." He continues. Stay with Eric? I mean I do feel safe here but I could always stay with Christina, I'm sure Will wouldn't mind.

"I'll ask Christina if I can stay with her." I say and pull out my phone. Eric gives me a laugh then takes my phone out of my hands. "Not happening." He tosses my phone in the chair across the room.

"Eric! So I can stay here but I can't stay with Christina? What's the difference?" I complain, getting up to stand in front of him. He's still intimidating, as he stands taller than me.

"The difference is that Harley has made you his target and he's not afraid to get what he wants. Christina is easy for him to get around. I know Harley, how he works, you're safe with me." He says, pushing me back down on the couch. I frown at him but decide not to argue.

"What am I supposed to say." I ask. I'm sure everyone will ask why I'm not living in my own apartment. Especially Christina.

"Nothing." He states. He goes to the kitchen and grabs a glass of water, handing it to me.

"Well I kind of figured, but what about the whole me staying here. Everyone is going to think something is up. Christina will probably fucking kill me." I say, taking a sip of water.

"We can worry about that later. For now just make yourself comfortable." I nod and get up from the couch. "I'm just going to shower." I say, walking to his room to grab my shower stuff out of my bag. "Use the bathroom in my bedroom." He says before disappearing down the hall into another room.

His bathroom is very organized and I notice that black seems to be the popular theme in his apartment. I flip the handle for the shower and watch as warm water starts to flow out. I take my things out of my bag and set them on an empty shelf in the shower. Once I'm ready, I undress and step on a sleek black tile under the warm water. The shower door is clear and I think how awkward it would be if Eric came in. I quickly wash my hair and body and flip the shower off.

I step out of the shower and onto a mat. I grab a black towel from the wall and wrap it around my body. While I dry off, I take a makeup wipe and clean the rest of my makeup off that I didn't do in the shower. I then take the towel and wrap it around my hair. Lastly, I slip into some sweatpants and a black sweatshirt, removing the towel.

I neatly hang back up the towel and crack open the door, leaving to find Eric. It doesn't take long to find him because he is in his room moving some clothes around. He must have heard the door click open because he turns around to face me. He glances me up and down, his cocky grin slipping onto his face. My face heats up as I cross my arms over my chest.

He clears his throats then motions towards the closet where nice black sliding drawers sit. "I cleared out a couple drawers for you. If you need more, let me know." I'm shocked by this gesture, it's surprising coming from him.

"Thank you." I say, running a hand through my damp hair. He comes up to me and wraps his hands around my head, tilting it up towards him. "I've got you, ok?" I nod, and then he places a kiss on my lips.

"The bed is all yours." He states, crossing his arms. "I'll get one of the other rooms set up for you if that's more comfortable but tonight you get the bed."

"You can't sleep on the couch." I say, mocking him as I cross my arms. "I'll be fine." He says, taking a step closer to me.

"Oh I know you will." I don't know what I'm about to do but whatever it is seems to be drawing Eric in. "I mean, how do you know I'll be completely safe all alone in this bed." I tease. He raises his eyebrows and rubs his jaw.

"I think you'll be ok." He teases back. I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know… could be dangerous." I suggest and I watch as something in his eyes switches and he grabs my waist, pushing me down onto the bed.

"Well, I guess if it would make you feel better." He admits, his eyes going crazy. I nod, as his head hovers above my face. He smirks and places kisses all over face, trailing down to my neck and chest. I laugh and lightly roll out from under him. He lifts himself back up and watches me as I move across the room.

"Just so you know, all we are doing is sleeping." Eric informs me. I don't know that I would've wanted to get that far anyway. At least not tonight.

I click the door closed and walk back to the bed. I watch as Eric pulls of his shirt and I look at his body, defined and muscular. I notice through the window the lights of the Dauntless compound and Chicago lighting up the night sky behind him. He tosses his shirt into a basket in the corner of his closet and turns around, back facing me, and pulls of his black pants. His body is amazing, he's only wearing underwear and I suddenly want to take it off. He pulls on a pair of black sweat pants and joins me at the bed.

"You must have enjoyed the show." He smirks, pulling back the covers. I bite my lip, nodding as he slips into the bed. He sighs and I slide down further until our heads are level. "This is crazy." I finally gasp. He turns to look at me, squinting. "What does Harley want to do with me?" I question, turning onto my side to look at him. He shakes him head but turns to face me as well.

"Why he wants to get to you? Probably because I crossed him wrong in the passed and he wants to claim what's mine." I feel like most girls would be offended by be referred to as basically a piece of property but coming from Eric, it's almost heartwarming that I actually mean something to him.

I nod along, signaling that I'm listening. "As for what he wants to do to you… let's just say I have a few guesses." He hisses and I see anger flash through his eyes. I don't think he likes talking about Harley. I decide that it's enough for one night and decide to distract him.

He watches my eyes as they roam over his body. I see the scar from his gunshot wound, healing nicely, and then I look at the tattoos on his arm. I wiggle a hand out from under the covers and trace his tattoo. His skin tenses under my touch but slowly eases. He puts a hand on top of mine holding it for a few seconds, then he lifts it and places it back by my side. He turns to flip the switch on the light on the nightstand and the room becomes dark.

"You should sleep. You have training tomorrow." He shifts until he's in a comfortable position and remains quiet.

"Ok boss." I say and turn over to face the opposite direction of him. I hear him grunt and that's the last thing I hear as I fall asleep under the mass of black sheets.

* * *

I wake to an arm wrapped around my waist and light breathing above my head. My eyes search through the darkness for the clock, which blinks 5:40 am. It's not light out yet, the room is still dark. I lift my hand to rub my eyes and Eric's arm squeezes tighter around me. His side of the bed moves so I turn under his arm to face him.

I'm seeing another side of Eric, a soft side. He eyes me, noticing I took off my sweatshirt in the night and I'm left only in my tank top. "You're dangerous." His groggy voice says. I blush and pull the comforter over my chest. He rolls his eyes and pulls it back down. I nervously bite my lip but he reaches over a pulls my lip free and replaces my teeth with his lips. His kiss is hungry, and I'm surprised he has this much energy in the morning.

He breaks from me and pulls himself up and out of bed. I watch as he grabs some clothes from his closet and heads into the bathroom. After the door clicks shut I get up and make the bed. I neatly pull the sheets and comforter up and put the pillows back in place. I then throw on my sweatshirt again because I'm cold and head out towards the kitchen. I could go to the cafeteria for breakfast but I decide to wait and see what Eric is doing.

I sit on a stool at the counter and pull out my phone. 2 missed calls and 5 texts.

I check my texts first. The first one is from Four.

 _Training is delayed today. We'll start at 8 am._

I close out of that message and scroll to the others, Two from Christina and two from Tris. I open Tris' first.

 _Thinking about holding a surprise party for Four's birthday. You down?_

 _I know he hates surprises but I think it will be fun._

Yeah, sure a surprise party. I'd go. I finally look at Christina's texts.

 _Are you home? I tried knocking but you didn't answer._

 _Helllloooo?_

I text back Tris, telling her I'm game for this party, and I text back Christina telling her I was busy doing some errands.

Next I check my calls. Both from a number I don't know. They didn't leave any voicemails so I don't know who it is. I ignore it and focus my attention on the sound of the water running in the bathroom. It comes to an abrupt stop and I hear whistling. I grin and hop off the stool, standing in the hallway infront of the door to the bedroom. Christina will have to wait.


	9. Update 1

Hey everyone! Sincerely sorry for the lack of updates and sorry this isn't a new chapter. I haven't had a lot of free time lately and to be honest, this story has not been at the top of my priority list, as I am sure you could probably tell. I still enjoy writing this story and do want to continue. Next week is when my finals are for school so I'm going to be quite busy. My goal is to get writing once I come home for break. When you stop focusing on a story for awhile you kind of forget details to the story, so my plan is to kinda reread the story and get the right details and mindset again. I have a couple chapters finished that I want to post but I still need to reread them and edit a little, which I sadly do not have time for right now. My promise to you guys, and this is guaranteed, is that the next new chapter will be posted before Christmas. Thank you to those of you who have stuck with me and genuinely do enjoy this story. I'll have an update for you all soon!


	10. Chapter 9

a/n: as promised, here is a new update! I also wanted to say thank you for all the reviews just from my little update. It means so much that so many people like the story, I will definitely keep working on it. I hope to have another update out by the end of the year but no promises on that, so for now, enjoy! Also, if you feeling kind and wanna get in the christmas spirit, you could so graciously "gift" me with a review, they mean so much and make my day!

* * *

It's a nice feeling knowing that Eric does actually care for me. I have a feeling that if anything were to further develop, he would still be the kind of person who hides his emotions from me. He just doesn't seem the type of person to talk about his feelings or anything close to him. I brush off that thought as Eric approaches from out of the bathroom, a black towel wrapped around the lower portion of his body and his wet hair flipped to the side, dripping down the side of his face. This is the Eric I like, the vulnerable one. I grin as he makes eye contact with me.

"As much as I would love to stay, I have training to get to." I say, quickly spinning around and leaving the room. I meant what I said, I would love to stay. Eric made it clear last night that me staying here is a serious matter for right now, no fooling around. To be honest, I'm not sure that fooling around is the best option for me right now. I apparently have a lot going on.

* * *

Four never explained why it was delayed which sparks curiosity in me. Speaking of him, he's been pretty MIA about the whole Jared thing. I get that he is higher up in power than I am but I feel like I should still be informed, I am his trainer after all. Four wouldn't even tell Tris about any of this so it must be worse than we all thought.

I can't really blame Four for not giving any information because I have been blowing basically everyone off lately. I arrive at training before the initiates, surprisingly. "What's the deal?" I ask Four as I approach him. He sighs and paces around for a little before answering. "I've been going crazy with this Jared stuff. Max has me looking into the whole situation, I've spent hours in the control room trying to piece things together and I feel like I'm not getting any further. I had to delay training this morning because Max wanted to meet to hear what I had figured out. He wasn't happen to hear that I haven't really discovered anything." Four hesitates. I can tell he's stressed, he looks worn out.

"Have you been sleeping?" I question, hands on my hips. The basic nurturing instinct coming through. He nods his head no, rubbing his eyes. I'm about to lecture him about it when initiates come in.

"Alright, Initiates! Today we are going to work more on fighting. Eric said that from what he has seen, you all are weak. This is your chance to prove to us that you belong. Written on the board are your matchups. Please meet your partner and head to a ring." I yell over the chatter of the initiates. Eric has been getting on us about the fights and how they aren't to his standards. Four and I both part ways and wander around, observing the fights.

* * *

Four and I don't have a chance to talk again during or after training, he has to get back to the control room and I need to get back to my apartment. On my way there, I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I jokingly answer, taking out my keys as I speak into the phone.

"Go back to my place." Eric barks into the phone. How does he know where I am? I just want to see if there is more damage to my apartment, if I quickly go in and then leave, what could possibly happen?

"I am, I'm on my way now." I lie, knowing he wouldn't let me go in if he knew where I was.

I hear a sigh over the line. "Listen, cut the bullshit. I know you are outside your apartment. Turn that little ass of yours around and go back to my place." He scolds.

"You know, you are starting to sound like my dad." I say, hoping he understands it's a joke. I mean I kinda do mean it, with all the rules and stuff.

"Just turn around." He grunts and swiftly hangs up. I throw my head back, defeated, and turn around to make my way to Eric's.

I arrive but I'm not sure if I should knock or just walk in? If we are getting technical here, I guess I kinda "reside" here for now. Maybe he's not alone and I interrupt something? I decide to knock, and wait until the door opens. I see it crack open to reveal Eric leaning against the side.

"You don't have to knock." He states, stepping to the side to let me in. I laugh a little, setting my keys down on the side table as I enter. "I know, I just did." I explain, turning to face him. He rolls his eyes, moving towards the kitchen table which is covered in what looks like important paperwork.

"What's all the paperwork for?" I ask, taking a seat across from him at the table. Eric is hard to read, besides his typical callousness and cold side, there really isn't much he's willing to show. Now is not any different, he doesn't seem to hear me and instead shifts through the piles of paper. Stamped in the corner of each paper is red ink that says 'classified'. I know I shouldn't ask again but if it has anything to do with Harley, I think I have a right to know.

"Eric." I snap, getting his attention. He briefly looks up, a look I can't register in his eyes, then quickly looks back down. "What." He mutters. I snatch a piece of paper off the nearest pile. He glares at me for a second, and puts the piece that he is holding down.

"All this has to do with is Jared's death." Eric briefly states, rubbing his face. "I'm sure Four probably told you, but it wasn't an accident and I've been reading over these reports ever since they came out. Someone pushed him and my bet is it was Harley." Harley? Why would he want anything to do with an initiate?

"But why?" I ask, pushing myself back from the table a little bit. Is Harley after someone else? This whole situation is confusing, but why would he break into my apartment, I have no connection to Jared because being one of his initiation trainers.

"That's the thing, as of right now I'm not completely sure. Harley always has a reason for his actions. I do think that Harley did it as a distraction to catch us off guard, but I also thought that about Michael and it seems unlike him to go to that much work to distract us." He puzzled, staring me right in the eyes.

"Michael, like the guy who shot you? Do you think Harley sent Michael to kill you?" I question, meeting his eye contact. He laughs, and tosses his head back. Not really the ideal laughing situation. "Oh, Harley doesn't want to kill me… yet. That I know for sure." He sees the expression on my face change from confusion to disbelief. "If Harley wanted me dead, I'd be dead already. Although, I've always been stronger than Harley so who knows if he really would be a match for me." Eric answers. I notice Eric's muscles flex under his shirt, he really is strong but could he really handle Harley _and_ his crew?

"Michael was a just another piece in his little game he's playing. Except he got a little trigger happy and decided to do more than just a little scare. After shooting me, he would've died regardless. Harley would've killed him. Can't end the game so soon for him. From what I've gathered, Harley's plan is to try to break me down mentally, before he tries to break me down physically. Keyword is try."

Thinking back to what Eric previously said, I am Eric's. 'Mine' as he once said. "So he's after me, the one thing you care about, to get at you, and once he has you right where he wants you, he's gonna kill you?" I ask, finally putting together the pieces. I mean, Eric may not really care about me that much, but there is obviously something there if he's going to all these lengths to keep me safe. Eric sighs, getting up from the table. "Except he's not going to succeed at either." He snorts. He meets me across the table, pulling me up out of my seat. Once up, he tucks a strand of hair behind my hair, then cups his hand around my chin, ever so slightly tipping it up. We both make eye contact and for a second I see a sense of desire in his eyes. He holds me there for a few more seconds, then drops his hand down to his side and stalks off.

"You know, for someone who apparently cares about me, you don't really show it."

"The day I do show it will most likely be the best day of your life." He yells from the bedroom. I shake my head to myself. "Oh yeah, and when will that be." I question, just enough sarcasm in my tone.

"When I think you can handle it." He states simply, then I hear the door close to what I'm assuming is the bathroom. I am corrected when I hear the shower turn on. I roll my eyes, thinking about what he said. Did he mean to sound so dirty about what he said or was he genuinely being serious that his love is literally too much to handle? The second doesn't really sound like Eric, so I decide to push the thought aside and cling on to the few, but genuine things he does say.

"I'm not sure what your plans are for this coming Tuesday, but I'm going to Four's surprise party." I say, pulling up my calendar on my phone. I figure I might as well let Eric know my plans, otherwise he'll find out some other way. Might as well make it easier on him. I hear him chuckle from the bedroom, and then he appears from the doorway, wearing his typical black t-shirt with black pants. I never really get tired of looking at him, he is built.

"What's so funny?" I mutter, laying my phone down on the counter.

"The fact that you think you're going to this party." There's no playful tone to his voice and I know he's being serious.

"Listen-" I start but am immediately interrupted. "No, you listen. Sure you wanna go out, have a good time. There are plenty of times I have wanted to go to the bar, let myself relax and take a little time away from you. One problem, you are vulnerable when you do that. Harley is counting on you to do that. Is some party really worth dying for? If so, maybe you aren't even worth protecting." He grumbles.

Not going to lie, the last part stung a little. No, I don't think a party is worth dying for but I miss my friends, I miss having freedom. "Eric, that's not what I was thinking." I begin. His glare slices through me and suddenly I'm nervous to carry on but I'm never going to prove myself to him if I never stand up for myself. "I miss my friends. It's Four's birthday and I want to be there to celebrate. I don't have the same freedom anymore and I know they are all getting suspicious. If I don't show up, not to mention I already told Tris I was going, then that's just going to make them even more concerned. Just let me go for an hour and I will come back and be a hermit for however much longer I need to be." I urged. He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, this is going to be tough to convince him.

"Sorry, but no." He states, no real sympathy or apology on the sorry.

"Is this because you hate Four? Times have changed Eric, why can't you move on?" I ask, regretting what I said as soon as it came out.

"Are you serious? Because I hate Four? Sure, I hate him. Right now, Four isn't my priority. You are. Why can't you see that this isn't over some petty bullshit, it's actually over the fact that I don't want any other guy laying a fucking hand on you! Harley is out to get you Lydia and I'm not about to let that happen!" He growls, trapping me against the wall.

"So what am I supposed to do, play prisoner for the rest of my life? From what you've told me, he isn't going to stop. I can't hide here my whole life! I have goals I want to accomplish that aren't going to happen by me just sitting here!" I practically yell in his face. I get he's trying to protect me, I really do. But I'm going to go insane if he keeps me locked up in here!

"Cute." He retorts, grabbing my chin again. "Don't touch me." I try to spit out but it's not very convincing. He grins a little before pulling my face towards his, planting his lips in mine. This kiss is filled with rage but it somehow feels so right. I kiss him back with an even amount of frustration and lust. He grabs my thighs and picks me up, to shortly set me on the kitchen counter. Our tongues dance with each other's as my hands frantically race up and down his back while his hands slide up under the seam of shirt and up by my ribs. I let a little moan out and I feel him grin against my mouth. He pulls back, removing his hands from under my shirt and fixes my hair that is now strewn out of place.

I take a second to catch my breath, waiting on him to say something. When he doesn't I decide to. "Why does this always happen when we're angry at each other. I can see his jaw clench as he stares at me with his wild eyes. "Your rage turns me on." He says, turning away to grab his jacket off the rack.

"So that's it? We aren't going to talk about it anymore?" He just slips his coat on and shrugs. He grabs the handle of the door, and twists it to open.

"You are such a tease." I yell just as he goes to pull the door closed. I hear him chuckle before the door closes and I am once again a prisoner of this apartment.


End file.
